Life...... (What does it mean to Me)

Life......

What is the meaning of life? Life to me is confusing, it is confusing because I feel as though were born for a reason, born to make a difference in the world and born to do something that may or may not be a good thing or a terrible thing.

Life can knock you down more than once, but you get back up and face the problems head on, well some may try to, other may find it extremely difficult to concur their horizon and be better, stronger because of it, I have my days where I feel as though life is suffocating me and other days when I'm as happy as can be, on the days when I feel like I'm being buried alive by the mountains of bricks crumbling down on me, I try to think of the things in my life that are worth breathing for worth living for, existing for.

The people in my life have saved me from the edge more than once, they do not know that, but they have many times, I have felt like there is no point to me being here anymore and my life is going nowhere because I keep going around in the same circle repeatedly like I am on a carrousel that never stops spinning.

Life has taught me many things, its taught me to love, laugh, its taught me happiness, sadness pain and extreme trauma, which I have concurred head on, yes it broke me and I am very fragile from it but I am still living, I'm still breathing because I didn't let those silly impulses and stupid thoughts get the better of me, anxiety hasn’t won, sometimes every day is like a battle, some days are good, some days are bad, but I will always live with anxiety, I've learnt that the hard way she's not leaving she's a perminante resident in my mind and in my life, like a tattoo never gone but can fade over time, anxiety sometimes controls me, but that’s okay, I chose to face my anxiety head on because it makes me stronger, makes me believe I am worth it and I am meant to be here. This may sound like a load of nonsense but sometimes nonsense needs to be said.

I just believe that it is okay not to be okay (no this is not from a movie) this is a genuine quote, you don’t have to be happy all the time you can be emotional, you can show emotion, break down those walls that you put up around yourself to protect you from harm, but sometimes we need to experience the bad to become stronger and learn to love ourselves for who we are and what we have been through, life sucks sometimes but other times its pretty great I chose to live for the good times the happy memories I will carry with me till I'm old and grey, not the bad times that leave me teary eyed and doubtful of myself.

Do what makes you happy, do not let other make decisions for you, live your life to the fullest cause we only get one chance to live it. Leave your mark on the world the way you want to.

YOU’VE GOT THIS, BELIEVE IN YOURSELF <3